To Feel
As humans we are proud creatures. When we do something we believe is out of the ordinary we want to tell people, so they can be excited for us. Like when we move to Hungary (that’s me), or get our nose pierced, or get recognized in paper, or make an artistic achievement, or win a sports event, or get boyfriend, or buy a new car, or discover family heirlooms, or get a drastic haircut… or anything… like becoming an iguana trainer.
But the part I’m just realizing is that no matter how excited you are about something in your own life, no one can ever see it the way you do. Maybe it’s amazing for you, but other people can only say, “hey! That’s great!” they can’t feel it like you do. And it’s not that they don’t care, I’m sure they do. But they can never feel it the way you feel it, because they are filled with their own meaning.
I think it’s a great skill to truly empathize. It’s painful sometimes, but also beautiful to catch the heat of someone’s feelings. I’ve always been a very emotional person, who can understand the emotions I feel, but sometimes because of this I have trouble transforming them into words for other people to understand. I know how strong emotions can be, and so I don’t want to burden others with them.
As a little girl I was dead on about reading emotions. I could feel them in the air. Emotions overwhelmed me and it was almost too intense for my little body. As I’ve gotten older, the people have grown and changed around me, and it’s also become harder for me to sense things. I haven’t thought about it until now. I had a dream last night about how it felt to sense someone’s emotions and it reminded me.
Often I can still sense feelings, I know they are there, but I let it pass by. It’s not true empathy. As people become more complicated, so become their feelings. Each feeling is harder to pick out from the rest. It’s harder to differentiate between thoughts and emotions. It’s a thin line because thoughts often trigger flashes of emotions, but they changed fast. But this is something I want to learn more about. I want to be able to really understand people, so that I’m not just one of those people that say, “oh! Neato,” or “man, I’m sorry dude.”
I think I’ve been scared off from this ability a little. With certain people, I can feel them stronger, but often these are the people that don’t want me to see them. So I’ve been shutting myself off; I haven’t been listening to my intuition. I guess I figured that if someone doesn’t want to be heard, I shouldn’t be filled with that person’s feelings.
I don’t know what’s better. Being with people who are in touch and tell me how they feel, so I don’t need to read them… or to be with people who can’t feel and need someone to understand them. Maybe it’s not my place to try and help… but if I’m needed, I’d like to try.
But the part I’m just realizing is that no matter how excited you are about something in your own life, no one can ever see it the way you do. Maybe it’s amazing for you, but other people can only say, “hey! That’s great!” they can’t feel it like you do. And it’s not that they don’t care, I’m sure they do. But they can never feel it the way you feel it, because they are filled with their own meaning.
I think it’s a great skill to truly empathize. It’s painful sometimes, but also beautiful to catch the heat of someone’s feelings. I’ve always been a very emotional person, who can understand the emotions I feel, but sometimes because of this I have trouble transforming them into words for other people to understand. I know how strong emotions can be, and so I don’t want to burden others with them.
As a little girl I was dead on about reading emotions. I could feel them in the air. Emotions overwhelmed me and it was almost too intense for my little body. As I’ve gotten older, the people have grown and changed around me, and it’s also become harder for me to sense things. I haven’t thought about it until now. I had a dream last night about how it felt to sense someone’s emotions and it reminded me.
Often I can still sense feelings, I know they are there, but I let it pass by. It’s not true empathy. As people become more complicated, so become their feelings. Each feeling is harder to pick out from the rest. It’s harder to differentiate between thoughts and emotions. It’s a thin line because thoughts often trigger flashes of emotions, but they changed fast. But this is something I want to learn more about. I want to be able to really understand people, so that I’m not just one of those people that say, “oh! Neato,” or “man, I’m sorry dude.”
I think I’ve been scared off from this ability a little. With certain people, I can feel them stronger, but often these are the people that don’t want me to see them. So I’ve been shutting myself off; I haven’t been listening to my intuition. I guess I figured that if someone doesn’t want to be heard, I shouldn’t be filled with that person’s feelings.
I don’t know what’s better. Being with people who are in touch and tell me how they feel, so I don’t need to read them… or to be with people who can’t feel and need someone to understand them. Maybe it’s not my place to try and help… but if I’m needed, I’d like to try.
posted by Integrity at 3:06 AM
3 Comments:
Whether you intended to or not you helped me. I will never be anything but grateful for everything you've done...even if you did make me get off my lazy butt and wander the streets occasionally. =P
Decisions are really situationally based, but don't give up on your gift. It's wonderful, and I get the feeling some day it will save you some form of damage. It's a heavy burden, but it is also a wonderful opportunity.
Most children have it, but to continue to feel others as you grow up is rare. Don't let that be stripped from you.
Many hugs to my friend in Hungary. I hope you are doing quite well.
I love you too!
I'm glad if i ever helped :) it was unintentional. I just wanted you with me :)
Little emo me? *tear*
*hugs*
Let's not loose touch eh? I doubt we can with these blogs, but even so.
*hugs again*
Be safe. Be strong. Know that you are loved. Know that you will always have a place to go. (Even if I have to sneak you into my dorms and hide you under my bed.)
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